Target Sucks...

I vow...now...this very minute (well technically I vowed this last night, but it sounds better if my epiphany is happening real time) that I shall never buy another item from Target again, ever. Not even an aspirin, a soda, a stick of gum.

For the longest time, I've not liked Target. They NEVER have anything in stock that I'm shopping for. There's a slot for the item, but I guess their Just-In-Time stocking is severely lacking. That or it's just a cruel hoax to make you think they plan on stocking items that you need, when they have no intention of ever doing so. And it's been that way for several years. For example...for several years in a row, the week that the newest Madden Playstation game came out I'd go buy it. For those not in the know, a new Madden game comes out each year because it's a football game and each year the creators over at EA Sports like to delete useful options such as using a customized playbook in Franchise mode and add useless options such as SuperStar mode. Also they like to update the roster each year, but I'd prefer to dwell on the negative right now, thank you.

Anyway, for three years running, I'd go to Target the week the new Madden came out and sure enough...out of stock. Folks, it's the most popular sports title around, and a bankable seller in August each year. EA, I'm sure, makes plenty of games to go around. Why can't Target have them in stock??

Because they suck.

But I've tolerated them for those three years, mostly because my wife loves the store, and partially because I get a kick out of making the same old tired joke to her that we are getting ready to waste a half hour of our lives by going there because they won't have one item we are shopping for. Then I love to gloat how after we are done shopping at Target, we now get to go fight the crowds and uncomprendable long lines at Wal-Mart to shop for the other half of our shopping list that...you guessed it...wasn't stocked at Target. Luckily, she puts up with my obnoxiousness as it pertains to Target, and I love her for that.

So...here's the straw that broke this camel's back. I headed over to good ole Target to return a few Christmas items that I couldn't use...PC Games...each still wrapped...each with the large Target magnetic, security sticker on it. No, I didn't have the receipt...they're gifts people. Believe it or not, some people still don't like putting receipts with Christmas gifts they are giving out. I know, I know, the nerve of some people wanting their presents to be used by the person they give the gift to. That's heavy sarcasm for the dense retailers out there.

I should also add that I was returning a movie that my well-intentioned, mother purchased for my 5-year-old daughter. It was inappropriate, but that's beside the point.

Low and behold, Target only allows a total of 2 items returned with out a receipt...PER YEAR. Hello?!?! Anyone paying attention over at Target? Per YEAR?? Wait...there's more. On top of that, one of Target's rules is that they won't return any item without a receipt that costs more than $20. *sigh* Twenty Bucks??!! Target is supposed to be the Wal-Mart for affluent customers. Not including food, is the average price per item in their store even less than $20??

So I did get to return my daughter's video and one game that was *gasp* $19.99. Then I went on the nerve-wracking event to find an item that one, I wanted, and two, was in stock, to spend my new handy-dandy $30 gift card on. It was not a fun journey...nor was it a quick one...did I mention that Target doesn't have many items that normal customers want in stock?

And so, no less than a half hour later, I walked to the register...which unlike Wal-Mart didn't have long lines - because every patron in the store is just trying to find something in-stock to buy...and purchased Glenn Beck's new book and a roll of auto-glass wipes for my wife. As I exited the store, I vowed never to spend another red-cent in the establishment in my entire life.

But now that I think about it, it's not as if I'd ban my wife from shopping there, so here's my new vow...I'll never step foot in target again as long as I live. Not even to go to the bathroom. See...I did get to have my real-time epiphany after all.

Of course if we move back near a Super Target while my kids are still young and there's a Photoshop there, all bets are off. They take great pictures at a great price. Sometimes I miss Indianapolis.