Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Not Your Grandma's Post Office Anymore...

"Neither snow - nor rain - nor heat - nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." "But cars that are parked five feet from the mail box will forge a new standard of delivery...none."

The portion Highlighted in italics have been added by The Mad Hoosier. The new quote, along with the original, shall be copyrighted by The Mad Hoosier and used for the sole purpose of ridicule of the United States Post Office, or at least the division that is represented in Indiana.

Supposedly, there is no actual, official motto of the USPS...and I can see why. It's because they no longer live up to their billing. Back in the day, there were tales of men and women that braved the elements, hauling massive bags upon their shoulders, trudging through mud or muck, unwavering in their task to deliver messages to the masses. It is told that these heros were friendly, caring, even someone that one would bake cookies for on a rigid winter day.

Today, the USPS employees jaunt around playfully in vehicles that look like piles of clowns are going to jump out of at any moment. Delusions of grandeur fill many of their minds as they hold mail hostage, deciding on whims if it shall reach it's destination or not. They pay no mind to family concerns such as paying bills on time to meet their budget, whether a friend they miss has remembered their birthday, or whether legal circumstances can be made nightmarish by missing a summons. No, today's USPS employee would just as soon drive over a cliff as they would take two steps outside of their buggie. They may very well be vampires, doomed to burn alive should their skin touch the sunlight if one step is taken outside their "precious".

Heck with 'em, I say. I am almost certain that the post master, at least in my town, has attended the John Gotti School of Business. But that's ok...withhold my mail...see how much support you get from me in the future. From now on, all payments shall be made online or via the telephone. UPS or FedEx will get my business should birthday cards of packages need to be mailed. I don't need the rest of your junk mail anyway. Good Luck USPS...you can rot for all I care.

To explain what has my dander up against the blue bandits, I received a post card in our mail a while back expaining that too many cars on our street are blocking the mail boxes, and soon postal employees shall refrain from delivering to homes that would cause them to leave their vehicle to deliver mail. It wasn't addressed to me specifically, and I am sure that everyone on our street got the same post card. As I looked up and down the street, I saw many examples of cars parked directly in front of mail boxes. Our second car was parked at least several feet away from the mail box, so I thought we were ok.

I should explain that our street is filled with duplexes, scrunched together. Being duplexes, the mail boxes are side by side for any given two-unit building. The length of space from the edge of my driveway to the end of our property is 25 feet. Our cars are about 15 feet long, and we try to prevent kissing the neighbor's bumper with our car. The neighbor is typically on the edge of their property, so that typically leaves a good 8 feet of space for a mail truck to deliver mail.

Recently, there have been several incidents where we have been parked at least five feet from our set of mail boxes, and mail has been withheld. This is flat out unacceptable to me. Nevermind the days when their predecessors didn't have the luxury of sitting on their ass while working, how ridiculous is it to not be able to pull up to mailbox, and if there isn't enough room to pull directly out, to slip the transmission into Reverse, and then go about your way?

Some may argue, why are you parking one of your cars on the street anyway? That's a good point, but when there is only a one car driveway, and you have opposite schedules as your spouse, it is a great convienence to have one of us park out front rather than have to move each other's car every time we need to leave. I'm not asking them to hop out of their truck, hike three miles, dodge numerous obstacles to deliver the mail. I'm simply asking them to try the reverse in their car every now and again.

So that's my delimma today. If you are a USPS employee and any of this rings true for you, for shame. If you work for the post office and still hike your route, my hat's off to you! And if you are a post master, I'm sure you know where I think you can put my mail.

3 comments:

Sherri said...

There are plenty of neighborhoods where postal employees have to walk to deliver mail....and the last time I checked you paid the same postage to get a letter to one of those addresses.

I say let em get up off their lazy butts and deliver the mail. It's unacceptable.

I live in an area where the mailboxes are in a seperate area in one big clump. Kind of like in an apartment complex except I actually own a home. It frustrates me that I can't get mail delivered to my house. I pay the same taxes and postage as home owners that get delivery at their door.

UGH!

Anonymous said...

Our boys and/or girls here have to walk the route. The mailboxes are at people's doors. They park their truck down the street. It really is different for alot of people. And, my husband has to actually walk from his station to his neighboorhood to deliver the mail. He has a hand cart so he walks all day. And, he's in great shape too.:) He does love it the days that he delivers packages in the truck though. Talk to you later.

MikeyPDX said...

Good rant. My in-laws used to have the same problem, but that might have been because there were always so many cars parked on the street in front of their house...